I've gotten so used to stopping in and posting a excerpt of a spoken word piece I have just written or a few quotes or pictures. It's been quite awhile since I have really just vented or written straight from the heart. So here goes.
I am trying to remain on the path which I placed myself on at the beginning of 2010. I promised myself that this would be a year of self love, self respect, and self fulfillment. I graduate from college this year and I want to matriculate into the "Real world" with confidence and faith so strong, that they are unshakable by others. It's hard, honestly.
We consistently hear that what "other people think doesn't matter", but realistically, you want to be liked. I want to make people smile, I want people to love me, and I want to believe that peoples lives are better as a result of me being in it.
The challenge? Mattering to people by being yourself, but not being bothered by those who don't have the ability to recognize what you offer.
It's honestly disheartening lately how so many people have found ways to make me question myself as a person. I try so hard to stay in a realm which allows me only to let the emotions of others affect me as much as I control but recently i have failed.
I am hurt by so many people who have manipulated situations and friendships that have been disregarded and love which has been devalued. Lately so many people have disappointed me and it makes it difficult to continue to smile.
This is the real test. My ability to brush this off. Remind myself why I love me. What I love about Umma and what I love about life.
Praying to he who created me in the vision he saw me to be and realizing that he loves me for being that vision. God. Allah. Thank you for this life. I am grateful for it. He listens, so I need to speak to him more.
That was my vent.
Thank you
